Amazing what two weeks can do. There are lots of changes happening. Healing occurring on many fronts, and fresh starts beginning. Mama will be OK.

Happy Birthday Sweet Feisty!

My dear, sweet Feisty,

There is no way in the world that a simple letter to you on you birthday could accurately convey to you how much I love you, how much you mean to me, and how proud I am to have you as my daughter. But hopefully you know that already and someday you'll have a good time reading back on the letters I wrote you for your birthday.

Exactly 4 years and 4 hours ago you came into my life. It is unbelievable to me that it has been that long already and you are such a big girl now. They say that when you become a parent that time goes so much faster than it ever did and that kids grow up so fast. I am finding that to be more and more true every day, week, month and year.

I remember your birth-day like it was yesterday. I can remember your cry, your face when they first gave you to me. I remember those first few days of your life in the hospital and after we took you home and how the adjustment from 2 to 3 kids seemed so huge to me at the time (looking back and knowing what I know now.....that was cake). I remember your colic and thinking how it was never going to end and people telling me their stories of colic and how those children turned out to be the most mild-mannered, sweet and empathetic children. While I wouldn't exactly call you "mild-mannered", the words "sweet" and "empathetic" could have your picture next to them in the dictionary.

I love you so much and for so many reasons; first and foremost because you are my daughter. But you endear yourself to me more and more every day because of who you are and who you are becoming.

I love your heart. It is so tender. It is so caring. It is so full of love and concern, sympathy and empathy for the people you care about.

I love how protective you are of your big sister, Care Bear. Despite the fact that sometimes she can be a bully-ish big sister, that never phases you and your love for her never wavers. She has always been and will always be your hero.

I love how you have acclimated so well to being a big sister. You are a champ. I love how you care for and love your little baby sisters, particularly "your baby", Emma. I love how you talk baby talk to them.

I love how you rub in the kisses I give you so that you can keep them forever.

I love your imagination and I love how you do not need to have the most modern gadgets and toys in order to have fun playing. You use the best gadget you have; your brain. I love that you want to play with me, your old mama, in these games. I cherish that because I know that will not always be the case.

I love how you call goosebumps "juice bumps", your heart beating "beeping", your feet sleeping "snoring", marshmallows "shmarshshmallows", Jesus "Jejus" and many other "Feisty-isms".

I love that you love being my "buddy". I love the times that you and I get to spend together in the mornings after the older kids go to school and the babies are sleeping. You talk a mile a minute and never run out of things to say.

I love that you have an imaginary "phone buddy" that you have full conversations with on the phone. I hope "Callie" calls you today and tells you "happy birthday".

I love your hugs. Your amazing, crushing, full-of-love hugs.

I love that you've learned to ride your bike and I love watching you riding your bike around our street with your neighborhood buddies.

I love your smile. You have one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen and it radiates your whole being.

I love hearing you sing in the back of the car when we are on the way somewhere. You have a beautiful little singing voice and I hope you always love to use it.

I love your zest for life. Your enthusiasm and your excitement can make even the most mundane things seem like the most amazing thing in the world!

I love all of the pictures you've been drawing lately. You are starting to take after your sister in the artistic talent department. I want you to know that I have saved every little picture, chicken scratching and doodle you have ever made.

I love that you have been planning this birthday and the activities for it since before Christmas. I hope it has been all you dreamed it would be (up until this point).

And while some of your little "OCD" tendencies can sometimes get on my nerves, or may not occur during the most convenient times, I love the fact that you know what you like and what you want and that you have the fierce determination to go after it. I hope you always have that fierce determination but that your sweet and kind heart will always be there to off-set that fierce determination. Those two characteristics will get you far in life.

I could write pages and pages on why I love you so much. What I have written to you today just barely scratches the surface because there is not a way to put onto paper what is in my heart for you.

I love, adore and cherish you my sweet little girl. And I couldn't be more proud of you. I am thankful everyday that I was lucky enough to give birth to you. So on your special day, I want to wish you the very best of birthdays. You are my big four year old girl and I hope you have a wonderful year!

Love with all of my heart,
Mommy

Awards Ceremony

Welcome to Mama's 1st Annual Award ceremony. All five of my children have recently achieved some pretty important things, therefore I decided they deserve to be recognized for their fabulous accomplishments. Please join me in congratulating them as well.

We will begin with......

ANAKIN

Anakin has had a little bit of a rough year this year in school. It can be hard to convince him to sit down after school and do his homework. However, as of the last few weeks, he has done his homework without being reminded and (for the most part) has been remembering to turn it in. Good job, Anakin, for your efforts in working harder in school. Your hardwork will pay off in the end!

Now, on to.....

CARE BEAR

Care Bear has had a real issue with stage fright in the past. Anytime there was a performance she was in, whether it be at church or at her pre-school, she would just stand there on the stage with a "deer in the headlights" look, regardless of all of the encouraging, hand-waving, and stupid looking faces I would throw her. However, this past Christmas, she was in our Church's children's Christmas program, and for the first time, she actually performed!! I was so excited and so proud. I wanted to do a "happy dance" right in the middle of the aisle. This past Tuesday, she had her "Kindergarten Showcase" at school. I was holding my breath until I saw her step on to the stage hoping that her Christmas performance wasn't just a fluke. And it was not. She sang her heart out and did all of the motions all the way through (with the exception of one song that she said she hated and proclaimed early on she would, under no uncertain circumstances sing that song.....and she held to her word...). So Care Bear is awarded for overcoming her "stage fright". I'm so proud of you, sweetie!

Next is, little miss.....

FEISTY

It's no secret that Feisty has had some issues surrounding the potty. And while she has not yet mastered the skill, she has improved greatly and I am very proud of her. She no longer even wants to wear training pants at night (however, mama overrides this....for now....)which is a good sign. While she is hesitant to go at first, once she does, she is sooo proud of herself and likes to show the world (or whomever happens to be around at the time)how good a "job" she actually did. Congratulations, sweetie, on getting the hang of going potty. Keep working on it and hopefully by fall, you'll have it mastered and can go to PRE-SCHOOL!!

On to the mini-twinnies.....First up.....

KATIE

As I've mentioned before, Miss Kate can be a little fuss budget. Afternoons seem to be rough for her. But lately (due to more sleep, I firmly believe), she is such a little "ray of sunshine" in the morning. This morning I woke up and heard some noise coming from her little bed. I was half waiting for a wail, or a scream, but I went over there and she was laying on her back, just looking around the room and gave me the most beautiful of baby smiles. What a great way to start the day. So, Katie is being awarded for her improved sleep patterns and that beautiful smile (which is much preferred over your snorts, miss Kate!)

And last, BUT DEFINITELY not least.....

EMMA BEMMA!

Emma Bemma has turned into my "champion sleeper". She has even surpassed her big sister, Feisty, a couple of nights this week. As a rule, she has been sleeping 8-8.5 hours straight a night lately. Not always, but more often than not. Her twin isn't doing quite as well yet, which is why Emma-Bemma is being awarded for her "superior sleeping skills". You are my hero Emma. Thanks for letting Mama sleep a little more. I love you, sweet pea!

And that's it....I think. Five awards. Five kids. And that is all there will ever be.

I love all of you and you make me oh, so proud!!

THEY DID IT AGAIN!!!