Kathryn and Emma...what an adventerous life you have already led up to this point. You are a year old today. You have defied more odds and proven more people wrong than is even believable.

I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant with you. At that time, I thought there was just one of you. The absolute shock I felt when I found out there was two of you is indescribable. Oddly enough, I always wanted twins; I just never thought I would get them.

My shock of discovering there were two of you was then overridden by an even bigger shock. Something was wrong with "Baby A"....that was you Katie. You had a growth on your neck that indicated that you would most likely be born with trisomy 13, 18 0r 21. I was sent on my way to a specialist the very next day. I wrote about my feelings surrounding that devastating news here. The specialist also believed that "Baby B"....that was you, Emma....wouldn't even be around by my next appointment.

Immediately, you were covered in prayer from all corners of the globe. You would not believe the outpouring of love and compassion you received by people who didn't know me...didn't know you....but prayed for you anyway. I spent several torturous weeks not knowing what the outcome would be regarding your futures, but loving you nonetheless.

The amniocenteses finally arrived and the next 24 hours were the longest I ever lived through. I finally received word from the doctor that "we don't know how this is possible, but your babies have no genetic abnormalities. You have two healthy, twin baby girls." But I know how that happened. And so do the rest of the people who prayed diligently for a miracle. Your miracle.

After being put on bedrest two months prior to your due date, you were delivered 7 weeks early and had to stay in the NICU for the first month of your life. You were tiny, but you were perfect. 2 lbs 15 oz and 3 lbs 5 oz respectively. You had overcome insurmountable odds and arrived on this earth ready to take it on. Miss Emma.....the feisty one inside of mama's belly.....you were not impressed with having tubes of oxygen sticking in your nose and after the first 24 hours, you had enough and decided you were just fine to breathe on your own.

You came home one month after being in the NICU barely over 4 lbs. And from that moment on, your mission in life was to prove to the world that tiny doesn't necessarily mean incapable or weak. Despite being two months early, you have hit every milestone when you should, slept through the night earlier than your sisters ever did and endured the trials and tribulations of big sisters who sometimes forget that you are human babies and not baby dolls.

Your life has consisted of millions of kisses, stares, "oohs and ahhs" and comments to your mama and grandma that include, "Wow! You have your hands full!" "Are those all yours?!" and constant camera flashes. You probably have some little inkling of what it must be like to be a celebrity with paparazzi following your every move.

Precious beyond belief does not even begin to cover who you are. Even though your doctor was concerned about your stiff muscle joints and even said at one point you may have cerebral paulsey, you took that as yet another challenge; you were sitting up within a couple of weeks after that. Even though he was concerned about your weight, you now weigh in at 16.5 and 15.5 lbs respectively....just shy of what your sisters weighed in at when they turned one.

The stories you tell me every day amaze me. And believe me.....I speak baby and I know every word you are saying. You are great story tellers already.

Your mama adores you; your sisters adore you; your grandparents adore you.......every one who you come in contact with adores you. You have an unexplainable magnetism. And every time I look at your beautiful little faces, I melt a little more. How could one mother be so incredibly lucky? Blessed. That is the only word I have. I am blessed beyond words. You wear me out, little girls, but better you wear me out than not be here at all!

What would I do without you girls? I would never want to know. You are (almost) walking little miracles. And a cherished addition to our family. I look forward to continue watching you grow, learn, and become the wonderful people you are destined to become.

Happy Birthday sweet, sweet baby girls!!! I am so glad you are here!!

All the love in the world that I have....

Your Mama

Extreme Irritation and Agitation!!!

Well, here I sit at 11:30 p.m. on the verge of posting a beautiful tribute to my darling daughters who turn one in 1/2 hour and I get the message of death on my computer: "Internet Explorer has encountered an error and has to close." GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

I spent a good two hours preparing this post and now it isn't going to be there for my precious girls by their birthday. I could cuss right now. And I don't think I have it in me to start over at this point in time.

I hate computers. I hate the internet. And I guess I will go to bed.

But I.WILL. get that post up. Because they deserve that post for cryin' out loud!! So check back again soon.

I could cry.

I love you babies! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYWAY! Mama loves you more than words can ever say!!!

Happy Birthday Sweet Feisty!

My dear, sweet Feisty,

There is no way in the world that a simple letter to you on you birthday could accurately convey to you how much I love you, how much you mean to me, and how proud I am to have you as my daughter. But hopefully you know that already and someday you'll have a good time reading back on the letters I wrote you for your birthday.

Exactly 4 years and 4 hours ago you came into my life. It is unbelievable to me that it has been that long already and you are such a big girl now. They say that when you become a parent that time goes so much faster than it ever did and that kids grow up so fast. I am finding that to be more and more true every day, week, month and year.

I remember your birth-day like it was yesterday. I can remember your cry, your face when they first gave you to me. I remember those first few days of your life in the hospital and after we took you home and how the adjustment from 2 to 3 kids seemed so huge to me at the time (looking back and knowing what I know now.....that was cake). I remember your colic and thinking how it was never going to end and people telling me their stories of colic and how those children turned out to be the most mild-mannered, sweet and empathetic children. While I wouldn't exactly call you "mild-mannered", the words "sweet" and "empathetic" could have your picture next to them in the dictionary.

I love you so much and for so many reasons; first and foremost because you are my daughter. But you endear yourself to me more and more every day because of who you are and who you are becoming.

I love your heart. It is so tender. It is so caring. It is so full of love and concern, sympathy and empathy for the people you care about.

I love how protective you are of your big sister, Care Bear. Despite the fact that sometimes she can be a bully-ish big sister, that never phases you and your love for her never wavers. She has always been and will always be your hero.

I love how you have acclimated so well to being a big sister. You are a champ. I love how you care for and love your little baby sisters, particularly "your baby", Emma. I love how you talk baby talk to them.

I love how you rub in the kisses I give you so that you can keep them forever.

I love your imagination and I love how you do not need to have the most modern gadgets and toys in order to have fun playing. You use the best gadget you have; your brain. I love that you want to play with me, your old mama, in these games. I cherish that because I know that will not always be the case.

I love how you call goosebumps "juice bumps", your heart beating "beeping", your feet sleeping "snoring", marshmallows "shmarshshmallows", Jesus "Jejus" and many other "Feisty-isms".

I love that you love being my "buddy". I love the times that you and I get to spend together in the mornings after the older kids go to school and the babies are sleeping. You talk a mile a minute and never run out of things to say.

I love that you have an imaginary "phone buddy" that you have full conversations with on the phone. I hope "Callie" calls you today and tells you "happy birthday".

I love your hugs. Your amazing, crushing, full-of-love hugs.

I love that you've learned to ride your bike and I love watching you riding your bike around our street with your neighborhood buddies.

I love your smile. You have one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen and it radiates your whole being.

I love hearing you sing in the back of the car when we are on the way somewhere. You have a beautiful little singing voice and I hope you always love to use it.

I love your zest for life. Your enthusiasm and your excitement can make even the most mundane things seem like the most amazing thing in the world!

I love all of the pictures you've been drawing lately. You are starting to take after your sister in the artistic talent department. I want you to know that I have saved every little picture, chicken scratching and doodle you have ever made.

I love that you have been planning this birthday and the activities for it since before Christmas. I hope it has been all you dreamed it would be (up until this point).

And while some of your little "OCD" tendencies can sometimes get on my nerves, or may not occur during the most convenient times, I love the fact that you know what you like and what you want and that you have the fierce determination to go after it. I hope you always have that fierce determination but that your sweet and kind heart will always be there to off-set that fierce determination. Those two characteristics will get you far in life.

I could write pages and pages on why I love you so much. What I have written to you today just barely scratches the surface because there is not a way to put onto paper what is in my heart for you.

I love, adore and cherish you my sweet little girl. And I couldn't be more proud of you. I am thankful everyday that I was lucky enough to give birth to you. So on your special day, I want to wish you the very best of birthdays. You are my big four year old girl and I hope you have a wonderful year!

Love with all of my heart,
Mommy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EMMA AND KATIE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUHAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA AND KATIEHAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

T-minus two hours and my girls will be here. I'm nervous. See y'all on the flip side!

Slight Change of Plans

I had my ultra sound today. It took over two hours. In the end, I found out that the bigger baby is 3 lbs 15 oz and the little baby is 2 lbs. 15 oz. (Care Bear says that the "big" baby is hers since she's bigger, therefore according to her, big baby is Kate and the littler baby is Feisty's...or Emma).

Kate is actually right on target. Totally normal size for her gestation. Emma is pretty little, but according to all her tests, just as healthy as can be. I'm tempted to call her "Feisty: The Sequel" because I'm thoroughly convinced that the reason she is smaller than Kate is solely because of how much aerobics she does in there. That child never sits still!! In fact, she's in breech position--again! Good grief.

My doctor called me within a few hour of the ultra sound and since Emma didn't quite hit the target weight for normal delivery, I will be having a C-section. But now that she's breech again, that may have happened anyway.

I took a tour of the NICU just a little bit ago. They gave me two little handkerchiefs to put on so that when I'm not with the babies, they will have my scent with them and have me near them. *s0b*. This is the poem that's on the bag that the hankerchiefs are in:

I Love You Mommy

We have a bond

That began months ago

I love you so much

This I know

When we are together

Wear this close to your heart

So when you're away

We are never apart

When you have to go

Leave this with me

I'll feel safe with you near

You will see

Until we're together again

You will always be close

You are the Mommy

That I love the most

The NICU is as homey as it can possibly be with very comfy looking chairs and roomy areas for visitors.

I had a visit tonight from a nurse practitioner from the NICU who gave me an overview of what to expect throughout delivery and beyond. Tonight a neo-natal pediatrician is supposed to be coming by to talk to me. I feel confident that my babies are in good hands. And of course the great physician will be present through it all.

The C-section will be taking place Monday, the 7th at 12:30 p.m. I'm not completely sure why they changed the date, but I just do what they tell me to do. So, not Sunday.....Monday. At 12:30.

Thank you so much for all your kind comments, thoughts and prayers. I feel covered from all corners of the country and even other parts of the world! I couldn't ask for better friends!

BREAKING NEWS

I received word just a little while ago that the babies are going to be delivered on Sunday; I'll be exactly 33 weeks.

I have an ultra sound tomorrow to find out how much they weigh and whether or not I will be able to deliver the "regular" way or if I will have to have a C-section. It all depends on how much they weigh.

I have had the Beta-Methazone shots already to help strengthen the babies' lungs so I'm really hoping they'll be strong enough to breathe on their own.

I'm not ready; I'm completely unprepared; I thought I had almost 2 months left. Life on the outside is a chaotic mess and I'm more stressed out right now then I have been in my entire existence. I feel like a brick wall is falling down all over me. I need a Valium or something.

Emma Faith and Katherine Hope: Date of Birth: January 6, 2008

Birthday Eve

It is the day before my birthday and I am looking out my window at work to a fresh blanket of snow covering the lawn, slushy streets and snow brushed trees. It's a beautiful, Christmas-ey scene. When I was a young girl, it was always my dream to have snow on my birthday. Most of the time it didn't happen. I have always loved snow; always loved winter; always loved the "cozy" feeling it creates. I still love the snow, but it has gotten more now to where I enjoy looking at it more than being out in it and playing in it. I am happy that there will be snow for my birthday this year; since my birthday is on a Saturday this year, I look forward to (hopefully) being able to sleep in a little, enjoy the current book I am reading and having a fire in the fireplace. I don't have many plans for tomorrow since for the most part my birthday has already been celebrated. I do have a Scentsy party to go to tomorrow at Sherry's house and I'm hoping I feel like I have enough cash to get a little something for myself. We'll see.

Last night, Mike and I and the troops went to Applebee's for dinner to use my gift cards that my mom and dad got for me for my birthday. The kids love Applebee's (mainly I think because they like to get balloons there). It was a nice time and we spent all but $.13 (that's cents) of the gift cards. How is that for planning?! After that, we took them on a little drive around one of the neighborhoods where we live to look at some fabulous lights and lawn decorations. Their excitement of the decorations and their awe of them (particularly the lit up reindeer that moved) was contagious and it made me feel like a kid again sitting in the backseat of my parent's car and feeling the excitement of Christmas.

I received the most precious birthday gift last night that I have ever received. It instantly became one of my most prized posessions and I wish I could somehow preserve it to ensure it never gets ripped, smeared, written on, or in anyway destroyed. My precious little Care Bear spent the entire morning creating a birthday present for me; she even painted the wrapping paper herself and wrapped it up in a box all by herself. I have never seen her more proud, and my heart has never felt more full than when I received this wonderful present from my little girl who thought of me and created a gift for me from her heart. Care Bear loves to draw, color, paint, etc... and she loves to make up stories. She wrote me a book complete with illustrations. I'm going to post it for you because you just have to see it. I'll have to interpret for you because she didn't ask for any help with spelling; she sounds out words herself and is very literal and phonetic.

FRONT COVER

PAGE 1

"Hi! Today is my Mommy's Birthday. I can't wait!"

PAGE 2

"My Mommy (something I can't make out here). I'm going to go do something." (Note the picture in the corner of her going out the door.)

PAGE 3

"Let's go get my Mommy's present!" (the picture is of her and her friend, Blondie 1)

PAGE 4

"Let's split up, OK?" (Care Bear and Blondie 1 again)

PAGE 5

"No."

(This is me looking for my party and my present).

PAGE 6

"No!"

(Still looking for the party and my present).

PAGE 7

"No!"

(And still!)

PAGE 8

"Happy Birthday!"

(And I finally found my party and my presents!)

BACK COVER

I will cherish this forever and ever, AMEN!!

Next time you hear from me, I will officially be 33.

And as I sit here enjoying the wintery scene and the cold, my parents are currently on a plane jetting towards tropical weather and beaches to celebrate their 35 years of marriage. As jealous as I am, they greatly deserve it and I hope they have a fabulous time!

Have a wonderful weekend!