As years passed, I questioned my mom now and then as to why we never believed in Santa. I don't know if I ever got a specific answer; my theories are: 1) It takes the focus off of the true meaning of Christmas. 2.) Eventually you have to tell your kids that Santa really doesn't exist.
Regardless of the reasons as to why we did or did not believe in Santa Claus as kids, I decided that I would pass the Santa myth onto mine. How much fun would it be as a child to anticipate Christmas and the magical and mystical idea that some man who lives in a far off place that employs tiny men with beards to make the toys and enjoys cookies and milk at every house he visits would be squeezing himself down the chimney while sleeping to bring you presents? So, my kids believe in Santa. I've enjoyed watching them anticipate the idea of Santa bringing them presents and eating the milk and cookies that they leave him. I've enjoyed watching them write letters to Santa and enjoyed even more so their thrill and awe when they received return letters from Santa personally written to them (courtesy of moi).
Anakin is almost nine. He's starting to have questions. He's starting to doubt. He was the first one this year to write his letter to Santa and when he received his letter back from Santa, he was overwhelmed with relief as he exclaimed, "I was starting to think he wasn't real. But now I have a letter from him, so I know he's real!" He carried that letter around all evening and read it over and over again announcing that he would be taking his letter to school the next day to prove to all of his non-believing friends that Santa does, in fact, exist. Dread filled me when he told me he was going to do that. Fear of him getting teased or made fun of over the letter terrified me. While he didn't get teased, his friends did inform him that his mom probably wrote the letter and mailed it to him. He questioned me about it. He questioned why there wasn't a stamp on the letter. (Uh....because I was out of stamps and didn't think you'd notice, oh observant one!)
This has become a rather difficult dilemna. He obviously has doubts. He doesn't believe as whole-heartedly as he used to. He desperately wants to still believe and hang on to one of his few early child-hood beliefs. But deep down, I think he doesn't really believe any longer.
I do not want to lie to the child. At the same time, I fear that if he knows the truth, he will ruin it for his sisters, who are just now beginning to grasp the fun of Santa. I'm starting to see where my parents were coming from when they chose not to tell us about Santa.
Regardless, whether or not Anakin chooses not to believe anymore, or continue on with the farse that he believes; and regardless of how long my daughters believe, its been fun to watch this aspect of Christmas through their eyes. And yes, they do know the true meaning of Christmas.
Do/did your kids believe in Santa? If so, if they no longer believe, how old were they when they quit believing? How did you approach the questions you received about Santa?
Only six more days.....clean out your fireplaces people! ;-)
6 comments:
Kristen,
Just finished listening to Dennis Prager on this very topic. He believes the joy of believing in Santa outweighs the dilemma of lieing to our children. Hmph!
When our children (now all nearly adults) asked us about Santa's reality or not--I told them he was like Cinderella or Snow White....fun to read about, fun to believe in, but alas, he is not more than a fairy tale. However, we also looked up Saint Nick and saw the beginnings of Santa. We also were able to talk about the "giving" reason behind Santa. Certainly, the spirit of Santa is real--even if he is not.
I should have put a warning on my comment...to keep little eyes from it! Our explanation seemed to ease our children's questions without shattering their image of a mom and dad who lied!
Good luck!
Diane
This is indeed tough. I never grew up with the "Santa Myth", and part of me never believed in this tradition anyway. But I can see myself in the same dilemma you are in, a few years down the road when we have children and try to incorporate both the American and African traditions as they relate to Christmas. Good Luck.
You pretty much figured out the motivation for not having the myth in our house, and the fact that neither Dad or I ever had it in our lives - I don't recall us ever discussing this at all, so it must have been something that we agreed on without even thinking about it.
I agree with Diane!
I'm very conflicted on the whole issue. I've heard all kinds of reasoning on both sides as to whether you should or shouldn't do Santa. I don't think it's the kind of thing where they're going to think we're big liars and question the fabric of society or anything, but I don't really like the idea of making it all about Santa.
I've never mentioned him one way or the other to my three year old and in the past month about sixty people have asked her what Santa's going to bring her. She tells them either "I don't know" or "Christmas is God's birthday".
I worry about depriving her of some vital part of childhood, but on the other hand I really don't want to mess with it, and it seems like you're having trouble with it... I just don't know. :)
She's not really old enough to keep her mouth shut if she finds out he's not real though. Not sure what to do about that because I don't want her to ruin it for anybody else.
This is kelli in the mirror, by the way. Comments are doing something funny to me today so I went anon just to be sure. :)
Hi Kristen, You would think having reached the exalted age of 60 I would have some great wisdom to pass on. I don't. I was (and still am) a person with a huge imagination. I loved all the Santa stuff and carried on the story long after I discovered the truth - for my little sister. Somehow I've forgotten how my own children found out. I don't believe it was a big trauma. I think they, and I, just accepted the fact that it was a fun story for a while - totally apart from the real meaning of Christmas. I think Anakin will keep the secret if you want him to. It's fun making magic for someone else.
I know others will disagree, but I thoroughly enjoyed believing in Santa. I'm still a big kid at heart.
I don't know if I'm the only one, but I think it's a little sad that you didn't believe in Santa. I totally did, and I was never 'upset' with my mom for lying to me. It was just an imaginary thing, something pretend that was fun! I'm glad your kids are getting the chance to believe! I almost busted myself last year, Oliver found his Santa gift in the garage...I just told him that it was kind of heavy and that Santa needed to drop it off early. Little Stinker!
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