Mother Of The Year---Two Times Over

I am officially awarding myself "Mother of the Year".....two times.....for events that have occurred over the past few days. Here is why.....

AWARD #1

Last week I posted about the return of my "high school sweethearts"....New Kids on the Block....and half jokingly said that maybe one of these days my truckloads of old NKOTB posters would adorn Care Bears walls. Hahahahaha. Well, the laugh is on me. I am personally responsible for pushing my 5 year old daughter into early teenage-hood. She was already half way there being a self proclaimed "Hannah Montana fan". However, mere minutes after pulling out my old NKOTB video tapes and popping them in the VCR, my darling daughter (who just a month ago considered the Care Bears and the Berenstain Bears her personal heroes) informed me that she is now a "huge NKOTB fan". Joe is her favorite. "Please Don't go Girl" is her favorite song. I was forced to raid my parents basement this weekend in search of the good ole NKOTB archives. Daddy is being harassed to make her CDs off of iTunes of NKOTB. She has decided that she wants to be a "rock star" with her best friend.....Blondie 1.....and went in search of wood to make her very own stage (my shower curtain has been confiscated for her own personal use so that she can make an "entrance" when performing on her stage).

I mean, a huge part of me could not quit almost laughing to myself all weekend when I heard my daughter walking down the street singing with all of her heart, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.....HANGIN' TOUGH!" Everything else that I loved when I was a kid has returned.....My Little Ponies, Care Bears, Cabbage Patch Dolls, Strawberry Shortcake (not to mention the fact that she goes to the same school I did as a kid and is in the same Kindergarten class.) I don't know why this should surprise me. However, if you would have told me when my obsession began that 18 years later I would be digging out all of my old New Kids stuff for my five year old daughter because they were making a comeback?!?! Well, you could probably have knocked me over with a feather. That, or I would have said, "Whatever. I'm not having kids." But I'm starting to think my little girl is me....reincarnated. It's almost eerie. Scary eerie.

It's cute. But I kinda hope it's a fleeting thing and in a couple of days or so she'll pull out her Care Bears again. At least for another 10 years or so......

AWARD #2

I'm pretty much a zombie in the middle of the night when my babies wake me up. Half the time I think I sleep walk through the process of getting them a bottle, feeding them and changing their diapers. Last night was no different.

The twins share a bed right now. It's a space saver. Plus, they're snobby to eachother and barely acknowledge eachother's existence so I'm constantly "pushing" them together in an effort to make them like eachother. They have "assigned" sides of their bed. This, obviously, is supposed to make life easier for me in the middle of the night. It normally wouldn't be that big of an issue to not know which baby I was holding and caring for in the middle of the night except for the fact that they use different formulas.....(no I am not breast-feeding anymore.....pumping/hospital visits/pumping/caring for older kids/pumping/blah blah blah.....well, it just didn't work out......so sue me.....they're doing just great and mama is less stressed out). Anyway.......last night Emma-Bemma fell asleep in her car seat at about 6:00 p.m. Wherever those babies fall is asleep is where they stay until they wake up again (unless, of course it's on a counter top or something like that.......). Kate was put to sleep in her bed. But for some odd, unknown reason I put her on the wrong side of the bed. So, eventually when Emma woke up (six hours later at MIDNIGHT.....YAY EMMA-BEMMA!!!), she ended up sleeping on Kate's side of the bed. Fast forward 7 hours later (and several feedings later) to 7 a.m. One baby wakes up. I hear it on the monitor. I go up to my room to fetch "the baby". Ahhh....it's Kate. So, here's me over the next hour:

Me: "Oh, Katie....are you hungry widdle baby girl? Mama'll get your ba-ba."

Baby: "Coo."

Me: "Wow Katie. You're so mellow this morning. So agreeable and happy. Weird. (Katie is typically pretty grouchy in the morning.....well.....all the time....unless being held). Are you watching Dwagon Tales with your sisters?? Look at you kicky little girl!!"

Baby: "Coo-cooooo".

Me."You must've been so hungry Katie! You ate that bottle in two minutes flat! Let's get you dressed." (I proceed to put "Katie" in an outfit that Care Bear has designated as Katie's outfit....you know, since Katie is "her baby" and she has the scars to prove it and all.)

Me: "Uhoh! I hear Emma-Bemma. Better go get her up!.........Wow Emma.....you're cranky this morning. Wassup wich-you? Awwww.....you're hungry, aren't you, widdle Emma-Bemma!! Whoa! Chill out girl.....no need to choke yourself or anything! Good grief. What's the matter with you?! Is this stupid nipple not working? No, it's working. OK, well....guess I'll change your clothes. Man.....have you been taking cranky lessons from your sister??"

Baby: "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Me: "OK, calm down. Let's get this sopping wet diaper off. OK, here's your little pink outfit that Feisty says is yours. You know, since you're Feisty's baby and she has the scars to prove it and all!"

Baby: "Waaaaaaahhh" (translated...."OK, I'll calm down a little bit now since you took that nasty pee catcher off of me").

Me: "OK. All set. Now why don't you go lay down by your sister Katie and get to know her a little bit, huh? .....

Wow kids....check this out. Emma's almost as big as Katie now. Good grief. You can hardly tell a difference. Unlesssss.........YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. (turns over baby thought to be Katie for the last hour and discovers that yep....there's that huge honkin' birth mark on the back.) THIS IS EMMA!!! Now it all makes sense!!!"

No one can ever, EVER tell me that my baby's don't look EXACTLY the same again!!! And I am so mother of the year....you know....feeding each baby the wrong formula.....dressing them in the wrong clothes. Care Bear was horrified that she had been kissing the "wrong baby" all morning. And me?! Well, I have to wonder what kind of mother I am to only be able to identify my babies by which side of the bed they are on!! GOOD GRIEF!
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And one more of Kristen's blonde "Jessica Simpson" moments and then I'll let you go laugh at me in private. I walk into work this morning. The smell of freshly laundered clothes and fabric softener is permeating my work area. I say to my co-workers, "Wow, who smells so good, like freshly laundered clothes?" Everyone looks at me kinda wierd and smells themselves. (Good thing I've worked here for so long!) They shrug. I smell myself. "Oh, it's me."

Dude. I need some sleep.