Yikes!

I can't sleep. It's 6 a.m. and despite being given two Ambien last night by the nurse and not turning off the lights until midnight, I am wide awake. I can't figure out why. Hmmmm. Maybe it's because in 18 hours I am going to be delivering twins?! I don't know. Maybe that could have something to do with it.

I can't even pin point any particular emotion I am having right now because I think there's a little bit of every emotion you could ever have floating around in me.

All kinds of fun and cool things are happening to me right now. My doctor has decided (at the 11th hour) that I am not gaining enough weight. I about wanted to throw my hands up in there air and release a primal scream when she said that to me. Let me just say that since I have been sequestered in the hospital bed, I have done NOTHING but eat. Not only three meals a day (which I rarely ever, ever do), but every time my meals are over, within 20 minutes they are bringing me a protein shake that I'm somehow supposed to choke down. That being said, I told my doctor that "perhaps my body just really doesn't want to gain any more weight; maybe it's at capacity." My stomach has been in a constant state of discomfort since I got here; so much so that night before last, the majority of the night I spent not daring to move or even breathe because if I did I was going to puke.

So, now they are drawing blood to find out if I have some sort of gastro-intestinal problem going on, or exactly why I can not gain weight. You'd think I have gained only 2 lbs this whole time or something. I've gained 27 lbs. Probably not as much as is considered "ideal gain weight" for twins, but it's not horrible. THEN, she is adding another medication to my cocktail of drugs I take every day that is supposed to help me digest my food quicker so I don't feel so full all the time. THEN, they are going to hook me up to an IV to supplement what I am eating. (My thought is, what good is this all going to do 24 hours before I have these babies? If this was going to happen, shouldn't it have happened long ago?!?!) And then the COOLEST, FUNNEST most AWESOME thing I get to do?!?! I get to collect my pee and put it in a bottle everytime I go so they can test how much protein I have in my pee! Is that awesome or what?!

I'm complaining, I know; which I shouldn't be doing because "doctor knows best", however, like I said, wouldn't this have made more sense a week or two ago when I had some time to actually gain some significant weight? Oh, well.

Doctors, nurses, neo-natal specialists, NICU nurses, nutritionists, OTs, therapists.....you name the hospital employee and I have probably seen them during my stay here. I even know the housekeepers by name. Everyone here has been so wonderful to me and they have made a long, long stay here much more tolerable.

I will probably be here for three days post-surgery; so most likely until Thursday. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course the dynamic of my stay is going to change drastically mid-day tomorrow.

I have a request for everyone out there. I know you have been fervently praying for me and the twins; and your prayers and thoughts and caring are appreciated more than you will ever know. I am awed over the amount of caring I have received from people all over the globe. But if you could please add little Care Bear and Feisty to your prayers as well, I would really appreciate it. Their lives are about to dramatically change. Especially Feisty. She will be de-throned as the "baby". I just don't want to be so overwhelmed with the twins and everything else that the others end up feeling neglected. It is a real big concern for me. I felt the same way when I had Feisty and worried a lot about Care Bear. My fears were not in vain; Care Bear had a real difficult period of adjustment and the three or four months after Feisty was born were extremely difficult. So, prayers for my other two little girls are appreciated as well.

This could very well be my last post before the twins arrive. However, you could see a last minute panic stricken one at around noon tomorrow. :) We'll see. I'm sure my mom will be posting regular updates until I am able to do so again!

The countdown has begun!