Mar 28, 2006

Melancholy Milestones

My Fiesty is gone. She has moved on and moved out. Before I confuse anyone, no she did not miraculously age from 22 months to 18 years since last Friday (I don't live in soap opera land, people!) Nope. She just moved out of my room. I'm a real sentimental softy, guys. Care Bear lived in my room after she was born until she was forced to move out when Fiesty was born. Then I moved Fiesty in with us. The plan was to move her out much sooner than this, but I'm not only sentimental, I'm a procrastinator. The mere thought of dis-mantling that crib, moving furniture around in Care Bears room to fit Fiesty, and then re-mantling the crib again (I highly doubt that's a real word, but honestly, I don't care!) was not an attractive idea. Plus, I so love hearing the sound of her breathing and looking over from my bed and seeing her sleeping so sweetly and softly at night. But it was time for her to move on. I attacked the room yesterday, and forced hubby to do the dis and and re-mantling of the crib. Care Bear was so excited to have her sister join her. She told Fiesty, "Now we get to have a sleep-over!". Fiesty was excited, too....until it was time to go to bed. She did alright, though. Me? Not so much. At first, I thought, "Wow. This will be great! I can read at night in my own room without waking her; I can watch TV with the volume above 2 without waking her. I can take a shower (in the bathroom that is adjacent to my room)past 8:00 without waking her".

At bedtime, I went up to my room. I took the shower. I turned up the volume on the TV. I watched about five minutes of "Days Of Our Lives" on Soap Net. Then I turned off the TV and lights and tried to go to sleep. And I could. not. sleep! I missed Fiesty. My room looked so sad and empty and way too big. (Not only that, but with her crib being gone, I could no longer hide the huge piles of laundry that pile up every day!) I actually shed a few tears. Am I pathetic? What on earth am I gonna do when she leaves for college, for cryin' out loud! She just moved 10 feet away, and here I am with missing kid insomnia and the waterworks! It was most definitely time for her to move on to bigger and better things; a lifetime of sleepovers with her best friend in the world. But in a small way, I feel like this is just one thing in a long line of many that are going to slowly but surely chip away at my mommy heart.

I miss my Fiesty. My roomie. I pass the torch on to Care Bear now.

5 comments:

Kristen said...

Yeah. And that's just two months away. We already have her big girl bed. Stop. I'm going to cry again.

Unknown said...

That's nice that Care Bear was so excited to have a roommate! Maybe you could buy something new to put in your room where the crib used to be. Would that help you feel better??

Diane Viere said...

I understand....and let me just share with you...this won't be the last milestone of distance. My 23 year old son has taken a job in Orlando Florida--I'm in Minneapolis Minnesota! I can barely breathe! I think I'll go find Soap net...and drown out the sounds of panic in my head! Great idea!

Diane

Amanda said...

I will totally be following you with the heartaches that come with milestones. Already I feel those at 8 months old! Congrats on making the change- part of being a good mom I suppose- realize when it is time to let them venture a little further. Oh- too sad.

Unknown said...

ah yes. those darn milestones. they can really be a drag sometimes.