Celebrity News by Kristen--Issue 3

Volume 1: Issue 3

Doing My Part to Keep Bloggy World Informed

**Disclaimer: I have nothing personally against any celebrities mentioned in "Celebrity News by Kristen". It is only for fun and only opinions. Please do not sue me.

Pari$ Hilton

Pari$ Hilton is suing the owner of a website that charges $39.97 a month to view all the Pari$ goodness you can imagine. The owner of the website obtained Pari$' personal belongings after her items were auctioned off by a storage company after she refused to pay her $208 rental bill. Let me get this straight; Pari$ Hilton, heiress to the largest hotel chain in the world and probably richer than the Queen of England refused to pay her rental bill for her storage facility?! Might want to get someone in your entourage to start managing your financial affairs. I'm guessing that $208 would have set you back one or two of those expensive cocktails you've been throwing back with your new BFF: Britney $pears. Priorities, Pari$. It's all about priorities. Pari$ was quoted as saying that she fears that these items could be used "to steal my identity, or even worse, to harass or stalk me." I highly doubt that anyone would be stupid enough to walk around trying to assume your identity. If someone wants to steal an identity, they're going to pick the average millionaire Joe. Not someone whose face appears in every rag on newstands on a weekly basis.

Kevin Federl1ne

Supa-star rapper/actor/gold-digger/father of the year K-FED will be debuting a commercial during the Super Bowl in which he portrays a fast-food worker dreaming of stardom. Naturally, fast-food workers across the country are taking great offense to this ad which has caused K-FED to defend himself by saying that it's a play on his image as an aspiring actor. What? Aspiring actor? What happened to becoming the next Eminem?? You go around the country spouting off how ridiculously phat your new rap album is going to be, relentlessly reminding everyone in every forum what day the album drops and now all of a sudden your an actor?? Oh, yeah. Maybe it's because your album sold, what...I think it was 10 copies? Hey, Kev....one guest spot on CSI does not an actor make. Maybe you oughta just wait to see what kind of financial settlement you get from your wife and then just crawl back under that hole you came from. I think you'd be a lot better off there. And probably safer, too.

Jennifer Ani$ton

Jennifer is mad. At Brad? Nope. At Angelina? Nope. At Vince Vaughn? Nope. She's mad at her plastic surgeon. She likes her new nose job, but she's mad that the good doc talked to a fanzine about rhinoplasty in an article about Jennifer.

Poor Jen. Don't you think that people will notice that your nose looks different...yet again? I mean, the normal every day person typically has the same looking nose throughout their life. People tend to notice when someone shows up at every red carpet event with a different looking nose, huge boobs or lifted eyebrows. We may not be famous, but stupid we are not. So, maybe instead of being mad at your doc, you should be mad at yourself for throwing down thousands of dollars for another new nose instead of keeping the one the good Lord gave ya! NEWSFLASH: A new nose won't bring Brad back!! Sorry!

Thus concludes this weeks issue of Celebrity News by Kristen. There is a poll on the sidebar. Vote. If you want, that is.