Jan 18, 2007

Celebrity News by Kristen

Alright, I'll admit it. I'm a celebrity gossip junkie. Now that I've admitted it, you can too. It's alright. Come on out of that closet and face the facts. There's something about reading about these "divorce after three months, let a nanny take care of our kids, pretend we're philanthropists" lives that makes me feel great about my own life.

After a series of very serious posts, I've decided to do something a little more fluffy today. I'm going to discuss some of the latest celebrity news that has caught my eye or ear this week.
Jessica Simpson
So, the word is, after months of denial, that Jess and John Mayer are indeed a couple. They were seen heavily making out on New Years Eve by many people.

Browsing through magazines earlier this week while waiting in line at 7-11 I saw a very heartfelt article about Jess on the cover of a tabloid-ish type magazine. Title of the article? "How Jessica Got Thin For Her Man". Awesome Jess. Let's just go right out there and tell all those impressionable teenagers how important it is to get skinny for their men. Cuz that's why a man would fall for a woman right? And for only that reason. Gotta make sure you still fit into those Daisy Dukes, right??

Justin and Cameron






Justin and Cameron broke up. After over three years together. They were seen arguing heatedly at a post Golden Globes party. Supposedly J.T. is now dating Scarlett Johannsen.







Britney Spears

Word is she has a new man, too. Never heard of the guy, but they've been seen hanging around town together. Brit-Brit has also gained between 15-20 lbs since the New Year. She skipped dinner one night at a bar so that she could consume her calories in alcohol instead of food. Now that is logical. Hey Brit--that margarita you're drinking? Probably more calories than a chicken breast.

Personally, I think the break-ups between Cam and J.T. and Brit and K-Fed happened a little conveniently close together. I think the new relationships are a facade....and I give it a year...maybe less...before J.T. and Brit-Brit are once again the pop prince/princess couple.

TomKat

Trouble in Paradise? That's the word. The honeymoon appears to be over, or so they say. Tom is too controlling of Katie. Uh...ya think? Katie, you used to be Catholic. Now you're a Scientologist. Rather radical change wouldn't you say? Now he's controlling the projects you do, the friends you talk to and where and when you go. I know you used to have pics of Tom on your wall when you were a kid. What girl didn't? But marry the guy? That's a whole 'nother story. Should have taken a clue when Tom was jumping on couches on national TV and when he got fired from his company. Another celebrity marriage fatality? Only time will tell....my guess is a short time.


Lindsay Lohan



Going into Re-hab. It's about time. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, Linds. Hope it works for you.



And thus ends the first edition of Kristen's Celebrity News.

And for kicks...I put a poll in my sidebar related to this post. Vote, and if you would like, leave your comment in the comments section. Happy voting!

12 comments:

Unknown said...

It's hard not to get sucked into the celebrity gossip when standing in line at a store. I always read the headlines, but never find out the rest of the story. Now you can help fill me in :-)

Are you still smoke-free? I'm thinking of you.

What a beautiful glamour shot!!!

someone else said...

You crack me up!!

Poor Lindsey Lohan. I've never seen a self-destruction happen so quickly. I hope she gets it together.

TJ said...

Very interesting...lol!!
:-D

brooke said...

Love it. Love it! hmm. I was sad to hear about Cameron and JT, I was pulling for them. Brit Brit has gone to the ridiculous, and DUH! Lindsay Lohan should have been in rehab years ago. Tomkat? Creepy. And I am so disappointed in John mayer. He seemed so normal. Dating Jessica Simpson is not normal. :)

Dawn said...

Funny stuff!! YOu could go on the radio with your routine.

Anonymous said...

love love love it! I am a celebrity junkie! even though they're really annoying shallow people, I find it fascinating!

Linda said...

The really sad and scarey thing is that these people are role models for so many.

Unknown said...

Ok. THAT was hysterical. I'd like to see a little more'a that business here. You are a crack up.

I too am disappointed in John Mayer. But then, what can you expect from a guy who dated Jennifer Love Hewitt? Yeah.

Carole Burant said...

Ok, Ok...I'm comin' out of the closet...I'm a celebrity gossip junkie too! lol I buy a couple of tabloids every week...well, I DO have to keep up with the news don't I???? hehe When the boys lived at home they called them the "bathroom reading material". lol I enjoyed this post...fun!!! Hugs xoxo

Gina said...

You belong on E! That was an awesome gossip post! You delivered so well! Looking forward to more posts like this!

Lala's world said...

I use to watch ET like EVERY night, I think Tom is a nut job but then hello scientology is a cult after all! and JT I am not sure he would go for Brit again, she seems to flaky for him and Scarlett....she seems like the catch of the decade!
you wrote that very well! it was very entertaining and I look forward to more of your hollywood insights!

mamashine said...

How fun are these posts! :) Love this stuff.

I saw that Jessica Simpson article and actually started talking to the magazine so the woman in front of me turned around and looked at me funny. I mean, really, was she EVER fat? I just don't have a lot of sympathy for her and her daisy dukes.

Says the huge pregnant woman with the 47 inch waist....